It's my favorite season of the year, and I'm currently sitting on my couch sipping some hot apple cider thinking about what to write. It's a pretty dreary day here, but it gives me a good reason to just sit.

I've been wanting to get back to blogging for a few weeks now. Ironically, I'm taking the time to start now when this has, so far, been the busiest month of the year for me. But I've been learning that there is no better time than the present and if I don't do something now, I probably never will.

So instead of continuing to talk about my long absence on my blog, I'm going to ignore it from here on out and just simply start again.

Truth: I have a craft show in less than two weeks and I'm scared to death. The last show I did was in the spring, and I was a fill in for a vendor who backed out. I had approximately three days to freak out, prepare enough stock to get me through the show, make signage, business cards, and table displays. Everything. 

I didn't have time to think about the big elephant in the room- the root of my fear:

What if I fail? 

I've been working for almost two months in preparation for this upcoming show, but what if no one buys anything? What if I've put all of this time, effort, and money into something that is completely going to flop?

Almost a decade ago, I remember having a conversation with my friend Marcia in college. I was telling her I didn't want to apply to be on SAC (Student Activities Council) because I wasn't sure I would get in. I think her words were, "are you telling me you've never experienced not getting something?" I had to be honest- I hadn't. Now, before you think what a spoiled brat I am (which I'm pretty sure you already are), let me explain.

No, things were not always given to me. I had to work through high school. I had responsibilities. I had chores. I, however, could not think of a time I had applied for something, tried out for something, ran for something, etc....and not gotten it. Jobs. Positions. Sports teams. Weird, right? I was 18 years old and had never experienced that feeling.

Well, truth be told, here we are almost ten years later, and I still haven't. Have I had disappointment? Sure. Have I experienced tragedy? Yes. But have I ever been rejected or turned away from something I really, really wanted? I can honestly say that I haven't.

So maybe I feel like I'm due. Maybe I think it's this big thing just hanging over me for me to get screwed royally at least once.

I know that I've been blessed. I know that all of these good things have come down from my Heavenly Father, and I have learned to appreciate even the little things.

So I guess I'm ready. For a year and a half I've been thinking/dreaming/creating/working, and I'm ready to give it a shot. I've made promises to open my Etsy shop after the show with the excess stock. I'm having product pictures taken on Saturday. I've been meeting with a friend about how to promote my shop and enter into the blog world next month. I'm about to learn a lot of things about technology I'm not even sure I want to know.

And I'm completely prepared to fail. And I think that would be okay.

But I'm kind of hoping I don't.