A Serious Tuesday Question.

Do you think dogs get hair in their mouths? And if they do, does it bother them as much as it does humans?

We didn't start the fire...

Don't ask me why, but for the longest time I have kind of wanted to lose something due to a fire. I never wanted to lose my dorm room or my house, because those are far too personal and that would mean all my personal belongings, pictures, memories, etc. but something somewhat trivial...just so I could be one of those people who say, "Oh, that? No...we lost that in the fire." When our 34 foot motorhome burnt to the ground in 2003, that was no biggie. Sure, it was a lot of family memories, but everything in our motorhome was pretty much second-hand anyway, so besides some beach towels my grandmother had sewed our names on to, it didn't feel like a huge loss.

This morning I learned that I never want to be one of those people who say, "Oh, that? No...we lost that in the fire."

My dad came in my room at 3am, saying "Abigail...Abigail...the church is burning." "Uhh...what?" I replied, half asleep. "Abigail...the church is burning." "Dad...I heard you, but what do you mean?" "The church is on fire! I'm heading down there right now...you might need to think of a plan B for Sports Camp today...I'm not sure how bad it is, but it sounds bad. Sheldon said they could smell it over at the hospital." 'The hospital? That is almost 3 miles away,' I thought as I drifted back to sleep, dreaming of burning buildings and plan Bs.

3 1/2 hours later...
"Abigail, we are going to kick in your office door or something to get in there. We don't have much time before the firefighters kick us out. What do you need? Is there anything specific I need to grab?" "Uhh...grab my curriculum on the floor...in the boxes." "It's all wet hunny, anything that was on the floor is ruined. I got your bulletin board, your pictures, your desk drawers...anything else?"

What. A. Day. I can't describe everything that happened between me arriving at church at 7:45am and me leaving church at 8:30pm. All I know are these things: God is faithful. It was hot and muggy. We had 70 kids attend the last day of Sports Camp today. Pastors and ministries from all over the city stopped by to offer help in the coming weeks. We had a dinner for all of the kids and their families in which about 150-175 people attended. God brought my uncle to the church tonight and might bring him back on Sunday morning. God is good, all the time. This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it...for He has plans for us; plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us HOPE and a future. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Trusting.

My life this past week consisted of Sports Camp and Sports Camp and more Sports Camp with some wedding thrown in there. Being ridiculously busy leads to a lack of sleep and ultimately makes me over-emotional and leaves me with little patience. This, overall, is not a good mixture for the amount of things I am asked to deal with on a daily basis. Not to mention the unexpected bridesmaid comments after the wedding on Saturday..."Just you wait...it will be your turn soon. Some guy will just come right in and sweep you off your feet..." "You make such a beautiful bridesmaid!" "So who do you think is going to be the next one of you girls to get married? Are you the only single one?"

All of this led to me actually crying while I watched a movie last night (I never cry in movies....and in the theater no less...) and then coming home and crying again because I was stressing over my financial situation once again.

And then today, I got this letter in the mail:

"Dear Abby, Thank you so much for sharing your work with our missions group. I'm sorry to be so late with this, but I want you to know how much I appreciated the excellent presentation you gave us. I understand that a donation was sent from our missions group for the school. Please use the enclosed for whatever you personally need. Blessings."

And of course, I cried again. The letter was from a speaking engagement I had over a month ago. She thought it was late. It was right on time and it was what I needed. The truth is...I know God has been there with me every step of the way this entire past week. I believe and I know that He is always with me. But today it was like He was saying to me, "You are my daughter. I will supply all of your needs...just trust me."

So. I am choosing to trust Him today. And I am trusting that He is going to carry me through the rest of this week and through the rest of this crazy month.

A Day in the Life of Abby Jane.

I really shouldn't be allowed to go to more than one or two places in a day because I see too many funny things and I want to blog about all of them. But then that makes for a pretty long entry that, although funny, probably wouldn't get read because of length. So, I've narrowed it down...

Top 3 Funny Things (that have happened in the last 24 hours):

1. "Interfaith Blood Drive, Monroe Lutheran Church, Saturday, June 13, 8am-5pm"
I saw this banner as I was driving down the road yesterday, and I'm pretty sure I laughed out loud. Not because an interfaith blood drive in and of itself is funny (I'm sure it's a great thing acutally), but because I got this mental picture of several religious leaders in the community sitting around this table brainstorming, "So...what should we do to unite all of the different faiths in the area?" And then someone says, "I know...a blood drive!" Maybe it's just me, but blood drive wouldn't have been my first vote. In fact, it wouldn't have even been a bubble on my brainstorming diagram.

2. Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit.
It's true. Yesterday, as far as I can recall, was the first time I have ever talked to a nun. I was walking out of Hobby Lobby (which is a Christian-owned company...I think that's why they are allowed to shop there) and there were two elderly nuns in front of me. (No, this isn't a joke.) One of them was unsure of where to drop her cart off, so she sort of just left it near the front of the store. I noticed a cane was left hanging on it, so I said, "Excuse me sisters (no, I didn't really say sisters...although I should have), is this one of yours?" And then the gushing began. "Oh, thank you so much!! Oh dear, thank you. God bless you! Oh, thank you so much. Have a wonderful day!!" They were such nice ladies! However...I was a little worried about their driving abilities and quickly returned to my car and got out of the parking lot before they could have their Ford Taurus in gear.

3. Meet Black Singles Today.
I normally get a kick out of spam mail that comes to my gmail account. My favorites are "It's Just Lunch: The Dating Service for Busy Professionals"...because I seem to get those a lot. But today I think I have a new favorite: "Meet Black Singles Today". And my spam filter didn't even catch this one, so it was delivered directly to my inbox. And I just keep wondering...what website did I go to in order to be flagged to receive that email?

So there you have it...my top 3 from the past two days. What are your Top 3? When was the last time you talked to two elderly nuns?

Confession and TMI.

I purposefully did not blog yesterday. It was Serious Tuesday and I wasn't feeling very serious and I take Serious Tuesdays very seriously, so I decided to avoid being serious about the things I need to be serious about and to not blog on Serious Tuesday.
Got it? Good.

In other news...I just discovered I put my underwear on inside out this morning. It's 10:30pm. I'm pretty sure if my head became detached from the rest of my body- I wouldn't notice it this week.

I really need to reconsider this whole not sleeping at all thing...

A Sign?

My mom told me she had a dream a few nights ago that I got engaged to a guy I barely knew, and he was 31.

My favorite guy on the bachelorette is 31...And I barely know him.


If he gets kicked off next week, I'm totally calling him.

New Discoveries.

Things I have realized in the past month or so:

I really like cantaloupe. I really do hate fish. I can shoot a gun pretty well for a girl. I have a crush on the lead singer of The Script and I've never seen him. PMS is a real thing. Sometimes I sleep better with a drink and two ibuprofen in me. I need to look for a new job. My hairstylist never does what I tell her to. I really can get up at 5:30am to go to work. I think it's weird when people talk about things on my facebook or my blog in real life. Mexican food is not meant to be eaten two days in a row for multiple reasons. I really wish I worked and lived in consistently air-conditioned places. I haven't had a boyfriend in a really long time. I have no money, just a free flight anywhere in the United States. I love the way my house smells in the summer.


Just to name a few...

I can sleep when I'm dead.

This week I had multiple people make this comment to me: "You look tired." Personally, I think that's just another way of saying, "You look like crap" but eh. I believe it. I've slept less and worked more in the past two weeks than I probably have since I started either of my jobs. And not so much in hours but as in time invested. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I'm lacking sleep so I can say whatever I want, right? We also celebrated my brother in law's birthday and my sister's birthday and had guests from Sweden and Canada here. End that week with a bachelorette party and ay yi yi, I am one tired girl!

I get to start this week off with a presentation at a board meeting at 7am manana. Let's hope I can dress myself right this Monday morning...

FWB.

Friends with Benefits. Yep, I have them...and they are all pastors. If you are going to work at a church, I recommend being a pastor. Having been working at a church for almost two years now, I think I finally understand more of the under workings of a church. If possible, shoot for head pastor, but I would recommend being any kind of pastor for at least the following reasons:


1. Line of Defense
It is very tricky to get to the senior pastor. During the week, he has the church secretary (or administrative assistant...or director of office operations...whatever, okay- you just do your job of answering the phone and the door)* who filters his phone calls. In essence, the church secretary can say, "Okay, crazy lady, pastor is unavailable at the moment...can I take a message?", essentially leaving it up to the pastor as to where on his priority list he places "crazy lady". And because it takes a bit of, well, you know- to approach the senior pastor on a Sunday morning to critique his work, the majority of complaints can assuredly come during the week, leaving him with a solid line of defense.

Me, on the other hand, feel free to come up to me on any given Sunday and say, "You are doing an awful job. Really, how hard is it to give kids a hug and a lollipop and tell them Jesus loves you? Isn't that all you do in children's ministry anyway?"

2. Vacation Time
As a pastor, people somehow seem to understand that you need a vacation. They automatically assume it is for spiritual reasons. "Oh, he's just going away for two weeks to really seek God" or "He is probably going to Florida to social network with other pastors" or "He really needs that retreat at the day spa to just get away from all the stresses".

Children's Ministry, on the other hand, is just what moms do all day, every day so why should they get to go on vacations? Please, their jobs are easier than stealing candy from a baby.

3. Discounts
I think at your ordination ceremony, they hand you this special card that says "Use this card to get 20% of everything, everywhere". It's like the church's version of a get out of jail free card. I cannot count the number of times I've been to lunch or the bookstore or ordering curriculum, and they just whip out this card and say, "Here, use this...you'll save loads of money." Not to mention the housing stipends, the people from the congregation who automatically assume you are poor because you are a pastor and take you to lunch or sporting events, reimbursements (oh? You bought a dog this year? Well, that is under the commandment to take care of the Earth and its creatures, so here is a $1,000 expense reimbursement.)...just to name a few.

However, those children's ministry people? You aren't really pastors, and you probably don't even need to work for a living because you have so much money, so no discounts for you.

4. Pay
Really...how long does it take to write a sermon? Fortunately, your work week also makes time for all of those unforeseen events such as hospital visits to little old Gloria who fell and broke her hip, the funeral for old man Harry, and the emergency counseling session with the Jones'. The good news is, if Gloria stays off those darn cement steps, old man Harry's ticker keeps ticking, and Mr. Jones quits eating the last of the Lucky Charms, you have your whole week ahead of you and might even be able to fit in that round of golf- and you still get paid the same.

Children's Ministry workers, sadly, still get paid the same amount, but the workload never decreases enough to fit in that round of golf.



*P.S. I'm kidding...I love our director of office operations, and I don't know what I would do without her and everything else she does besides answer the phone and the door. Even if she was only called the church secretary, I would be okay with it.

Sidenote: to anyone who might be reading this who does not know me...I totally love the pastors I serve with on staff and I totally love my job. Really...we're good.

Serious Tuesdays.

One of my favorite blogs to follow, Stuff Christians Like, has what he calls "Serious Wednesdays". I've decided that I need a serious day and from now on...it will be Tuesdays. (However, I still reserve the right to be serious any other day of the week...this is my blog, dang it.)

The light in our hallway has been out for a little over a week now. I blame it on a few different factors: 1. my mom will say she has bad knees (I don't know how they can be- they are both made of steel now!) and doesn't want to climb on a chair to fix it and 2. my dad and I probably a)forget about it until we actually go to turn it on and b)are too lazy but also too busy to care about something so trivial.

Do you ever get caught in ruts sometimes? Are you too lazy to get out or too busy to care about it? I confess, I'm sort of in a rut. I'm too lazy and too busy to care about so many things. I feel as if I have lost my peripheral vision for a time. I no longer have the energy to see others around me who are in need and try and help them. I have lost the ability to focus during those conversations. Instead of them coming to my mind multiple times a day and me praying for them, I am lucky if I think about them once a day and even luckier if I think to pray. I no longer have the time to spend hours in the Word or pouring over my Bible studies. I live on nuggets, one verse or passage at a time. I no longer have the desire to do anything other than what is required of me each day. I am focused on the massive amount of work before me. I am exhausted. I am not sleeping well. I am restless.

During these times, I really depend on my brothers and sisters in Christ. I need encouragement. I need prayer. I need volunteers. I need a kick in the butt. I need to survive a whole day without caffeine or a nap.

I changed the light bulb tonight. It's a start...

I need more sleep.

This morning, about halfway into our staff meeting, I crossed my legs and slid my left hand under my left pant leg. I immediately felt something bunchy directly under my knee. I was quickly distracted, racking my brain for what it could possibly be. Although I thought it might be a bit of comic relief for our staff meeting to reach up my pant leg and pull it out, I was too nervous that maybe it was a pair of underwear from the wash or something. About ten minutes later, we began praying. I thought 'this is my perfect opportunity!' However, I was too distraught over the idea that maybe one of the pastors (most likely the youth pastor...just kidding) would have his eyes open for that exact moment in the prayer and catch me. I also quickly realized I had left my purse in my office, so if it did so happen to be a pair of undies, I had nowhere for them to hide. I spent the rest of staff meeting remembering the "most embarrassing moments" I used to read in YM magazine and thinking the worst.

As the meeting ended, I stood up to walk out and immediately felt the bunch loosening. I think the only thing worse than me pulling it out for all to see would have been for it to fall to the ground as I was walking out. I began walking somewhat awkwardly back to my office to hopefully avoid the inevitable. I quickly grabbed my purse and continued walking awkwardly to the women's restroom.

The culprit? A pair of socks. I knew it seemed pretty bunchy, but I had no clue what it could have been. And I have NO idea how I managed to get from my room, into my car, through the twenty minute drive to work, down to my office and back up the stairs to staff meeting without having a single clue.

I need more sleep.