On crappy songs on the radio.

I love music. Whether I'm in the car for five minutes or five hours, it's always on. I will often times pull in somewhere and stay in the car if a good song is on.

But there is one thing I can't stand about music in the car, and it's this: unintentionally listening to a stupid song on the radio, only to finally change the station and catch the tail end of one of my favorite jams. I hate that!

And yet sometimes I think that's what we do in life. We settle for a job that's not great but not miserable because it pays the bills for now. We settle for surface friendships because it's easier than being honest with ourselves and with others. We settle for unspoken and underlying conflict within our families because no one wants to make family dinner an awkward thing. We unintentionally (and sometimes very intentionally) settle for mediocre when what we could have is so much greater.  

"So Joshua is speaking to all of us when he says, 'Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.' At least, he is saying, make an educated decision on the great goal of your life. Otherwise you will passively flow into some choice by mere osmosis, a little bit of you at a time, until you find yourself inside a temple bowing to a god you never consciously chose." -Kyle Idleman, Gods at War

I read that book two years ago, and yet that excerpt has stuck with me. I want to make sure I am intentional with how, who, and what I fill my mind and my life with. I don't want to miss out on every great thing God has for me because I was too preoccupied with mediocre at best. 

On expired formula.

There is this lady who attended my church for the past six years or so. She also attended the church I grew up in (back when I was growing up), so she knew me for quite a few years. She had a very sweet demeanor, and would almost always engage me in conversation if she saw me. She would always ask about my family- how my parents were doing, my siblings, and my nephews with special needs. She always seemed to remember what was going on in their lives. She would think about children's ministry often, and would want to volunteer, but it would never seem to work out. She would bring in extra diapers and little things here and there. About last September, she brought me three cans of infant formula that she had bought for her grandson and didn't end up using. Two of the cans hadn't been opened, so I passed them on to whoever I could, but one can she wrote a note on top of that she'd used four scoops.

And then one day, a couple months after the last can of formula, I got an email saying she had a stroke and within a week, she passed away. And I can't bring myself to throw away this expired can of formula. Because the truth is, it seemed like every time she wanted to engage me in conversation, it was the worst possible time. I had things to do, I had kids to take care of, I had classrooms to get ready. And for some reason, I always had this thought in the back of my head, 'I have things to do. I could be doing something else, something better.' And it's that thought that kills me. Since when does having a to do list to take care of become more important than listening to someone? Since when does accomplishing my agenda become more important than investing in the life of someone else?

So for now, it sits in my office- unused and expired. But it serves as a gentle, daily reminder to me. I'll probably bring myself to throw it away someday. When? I'm not sure. But for now, I'm listening. 

Grace in place of grace.

Like most people in the beginning of the year, I've set some "personal resolutions" for 2015. I do this every year- usually doing really well at first, falling off the wagon, semi-getting back on, and then doing so-so throughout the rest of the year. I figure if by the end of the year, I've kept my resolution for at least 150 out of the the 365 days, that counts for something, am I right? It's 150 days. 150 days that I was able to do something I didn't do the year before. I'm okay with that.

One of those things is drinking an obscene amount of water. Like literally, it's insane. I've peed more in the past 15 days than I'm pretty sure I've peed in the last two years. We'll see how the year progresses. Hopefully my bladder expands. TMI? Maybe.

Another one of those things is completing the #SheReadsTruth Bible reading plan for the year. I'm currently behind, but I suppose I didn't want to tell you that. But now you know, so I guess that's where we're at.

In my reading last week, I stumbled upon this verse:

"Out of His fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given." John 1:16

And from it, I have determined this:

Because of who He is and what He has done for me, I can continue to extend grace in place of grace already given to others.

Because here's the thing: what I have been given from Him, I do not deserve. I have done nothing and will do nothing that will somehow credit what He has done for me. So how can I justify being stingy with others? How can I choose to not overlook offenses against me when I am the highest offender?

So that is another one of my goals this year: to extend grace in place of grace already given. And when I feel I'm at the end of my rope, I will continue to extend grace. Because that is what I have been asked to do, and because that is what I am capable of doing because of what He has done for me.

What about you? Any resolutions for 2015?

2015. It's gonna be big.

Oh, hi!

It's been a while. Quick updates and then I'll be on my way:

• Started a new job in October 2012 as a billing specialist for a therapist's office. Basically I go in for 10 hours a week to enter paperwork and send insurance claims and pretty much get free counseling from four different therapists. Well, that's how I see it anyway. It works out pretty well.
• Started as an assistant varsity softball coach at my alma mater in February 2013. I work mainly as the pitching and catching coach. I get to hang out with high school girls and talk about Justin Beiber, so that's pretty fun. 
• Still working as a children's director at my church! Going on year 6 and am SUPER stoked about 4 weeks of vacation this year. Which speaking of...
• Met, dated, and got engaged to the man of my dreams! Well, sort of. We actually went to high school together, randomly saw each other at a stop light in May 2013, and I guess the rest is history! (More on that later.)*

 So, here comes 2015. It's gonna be big. I'm gonna get married. And we're gonna party like it's 1999. (Because literally, that's when we met.)  But in the midst of all this I (might) attempt to start blogging again. So, stay tuned, there might be some good stuff coming.

In the meantime, read this. This is good.

http://www.theblaze.com/contributions/i-didnt-marry-the-one-she-become-the-one-after-i-married-her/

*Clarification: He IS the man of my dreams, I just met him in 1999, not 2013 :)