I'm A Champ.

So for over a year now, I have wanted to get my nose pierced. Not because my friends are doing it, not because I think I'll be cool if I do, and not because I want to put a huge ring in it. I've always liked the look and thought maybe I had the right kind of nose for it. Well, they say if you want something, think about it, and if a year later you still want it- do it.

Yesterday, I made a decision to stop doing something that, in the end, would probably not have been a wise choice. I was pretty proud of myself and wanted something that would serve as a reminder. So, on December 29, 2010, I got my nose pierced.

 Libbie told me to look scared. I wasn't...too much :)

 Meet my new friend, Ricky. Cleaning the area...

 Sticking the needle in!

 At this point he made an inappropriate comment to get me to laugh...

it helped relieve the stress, which was the point :)

 Checking it out...

 watery eyes but all smiles! :)

My favorite: my mom's reaction when she looked inside my nose to see what it looked like. (She reminded me of the dad on Sweet Home Alabama when he sees the kid with the tongue ring.)

It looks great today, and I haven't had any redness or swelling. Minus a little bit of tenderness, I would say it was a huge success!

The Day After Christmas...

So it's the day after Christmas and as I was sitting in church this morning listening to the sermon, I came across these words in the text:

The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him.

Luke 2:33

May we continue to marvel at the birth of our Savior and all He has done for us. Merry Christmas, friends- may we celebrate Him all year long.

Marveling.

Out of all the technology the world has to offer, this is still my favorite place to start: a blank sheet of paper.

In case I haven't mentioned it before, Monday mornings are by far my favorite day in the office. Yes, I'm still tired from the whirlwind that is a Sunday morning for me and probably a little sleep deprived, but a hot cup of coffee, a blank sheet of paper, and a quiet office are a few of my favorite things.

I've spent the morning working on my annual report and reviewing all GOD has done in the past 12 months. Wow. If I ever need a reminder that I am not in charge and my plans are not His plans, I need to remember this day. As I was looking over each month and everything that was accomplished, I know there is no way I could have done it by my own strength or will. Not only that, but when I took this position last October, I had no idea where I would be today, but I'm going to promise you this is nothing I imagined. While I don't feel the need to share with you my year-end report, here are a few highlights:

- implemented an entire worker application process and handbook
- hosted a week-long VBS
- moved our entire children's area to a different part of the building and re-decorated the entire area
- moved to a completely new format for children's church
- hosted our first ever Parent's Night Out- a chance for parents to have free childcare for date night and had 20 kids
- welcomed 26 (yes, 26!) new children to our church family including three precious newborn girls...oh, and we have 3 more still in the ovens!

I can't help but marvel at how awesome my God is.

I've been thinking about that word recently. TU's Youth Conference one year was MARVEL, and while the conference was for hundreds of high school students, I think back to that time and I'm not sure I had fully grasped that concept as a college student. It's kind of a funny word when you think about it, but the definition is powerful: to marvel is to be filled with surprise or wonder. I think if we took the time to sit back and think about what God has done for us on a daily basis, we would spend a lot more time marveling. At His goodness, His ways, His plans, His grace, His ability to love- all of those attributes consistently lead me to a place of surprise and wonder.

I can't wait to see what He will do in 2011.

Crafting Secrets.

I don't normally blog about crafting, but it is a hobby that I enjoy. I've recently given people a lot of tips and tidbits on certain projects, so I thought I would add them here.

Not only do a love crafting, but- just like my momma- I love a good deal. Here are some ways you can make your money go a bit further and, in my opinion, have an even better result:


Tips for Yarn Wreaths
1. Buy a straw wreath. The green traditional Styrofoam wreaths normally run about $5 or $6 and are a lot more fragile than the straw wreaths. Straw wreaths are normally $3 and have a sturdy appearance. I originally went this route to avoid more yarn wrapping- which trust me, you'll thank me later!

2. Buy felt by the yard. Earlier this week, felt sheets were 50% off. Great, but so was felt by the yard. In the end, you get a lot more usable surface space and more felt for your money. I also, once again, found the felt by the yard to be better quality.

3. As my bestie found out earlier this week, a thicker yarn in the end will save you time and money. Even though those dental floss yarns are cute and sparkly, they are hell to wrap and don't cover much surface area. Also, always look for what is on sale and how many yards you are getting for your money. When it comes to yarn wreaths, the quality of the yarn isn't a big deal. You aren't going to war with it- your just gonna hang it on a door or a wall somewhere!

4. Don't waste your money on the embellishments. When it comes to craft projects, you can end up spending more money than on something store bought if you let yourself get carried away. I haven't paid over $7 for all of my materials for any one wreath- shop the sales, clearance areas, and even your old jewelry box for brooches and earrings.

5. Have fun! Experiment! Try new and different things! Some of the weirdest ideas I've had have turned out surprisingly awesome. Mix fabrics, textures, cutting patterns- you'll stumble on something great!

More to come...

Crafts!

Some of my projects from the past week...

A wreath for my future sister-in-law for Christmas

Worked on some felt flowers for another project...

Wall decor for my friend Jess for Christmas

Bookends for myself :)

Holiday cake servers for my volunteers

Multi-colored cake servers for my volunteers

Good things to come...

Sorry guys, I've been a bad blogger I know. But hopefully later tonight I will be able to post all my recent craft projects on here and you will have some pretty pictures to look at :)

Until later...

Baby Gazelles.

It's Monday morning. It took me 15 minutes to clean off my car this morning. It then took me an extra 5-10 minutes to get to work. I'm currently eating puppy chow and drinking coffee while sitting at my desk. But you know what is even more exciting than eating puppy chow and drinking coffee?

This morning when I got to work, Jon Acuff's new book was there, in my box. All last week while he was doing his pre-order offers on his blog I thought, 'you know, I should do that...I want to get the book and I could totally win a wii or something else that will make me look cool', but I didn't for some reason. And then BAM! it just shows up in my box at work this morning! Turns out we got this whole gift package from Financial Peace, and Thomas happened to think I might enjoy it so he gave it to me while the rest of the staff got t-shirts, other books, etc.. Yessss!

So while I didn't order the book, you probably should. Oh, and it's not called Baby Gazelles- I just thought maybe more people would read this post if I titled it that way. Yes? No?

Gazelles, Baby Steps, and 37 Other Things Dave Ramsey Taught Me About Debt written and lived by Jon Acuff. Go buy it. Just do it.

Want.

A friend of mine gave me an incomplete puzzle the other day. At the bottom of it, she had written Romans 8:28- "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." She then handed me a piece with a heart drawn on it, but it didn't fit. Only when she gave me a piece with "God" written on it, did my piece fit in and complete the puzzle.

I think often times we hear Psalm 37:4, "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart" and we conveniently forget the first part. There are a lot of things I want. I want a husband. I want to have kids. I want to travel. I want to live somewhere else for a while. I want to love my family better. I want to be able to visit my friends more often. I want to feel appreciated.

But I have to remember the first part of that verse: to delight myself in the Lord. First. And when I do that, an amazing thing happens. All of the sudden my wants and my desires aren't so urgent and important. My heart is changed. My focus changes. It really is all about Him and when I find myself wanting more, it usually means I've failed to seek Him first.

This morning, Pastor had this to say: "What is the point of prayer? It is meant to change us! NOT to change God! To give all control over to Him and know that He cares more than we could ever care, and He loves more than we could ever love. God says to come to Him in prayer. Out of obedience and love, we should come to Him to change OUR hearts, NOT His."

And in the end, it really is a happy ending. God continues to give good gifts to His children, even when we are so undeserving. My piece eventually fits, it just might not look the same as when I started.

"Others May, You Cannot"

Below is a devotional a co-worker shared with me a few months back. It is taped into my notebook I open everyday. May you be encouraged as well- that while others may, you cannot.

If God has called you to be really like Jesus, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put upon you such demands of obedience, that you will not be able to follow other people, or measure yourself by other Christians, and in many ways, He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.

Other Christians and ministers, who seem very religious and useful may push themselves, pull wires and work schemes to carry out their plans, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.

Others may boast of themselves, of their work, of their success, of their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, or may have a legacy left to them, but most likely God will keep you poor, because He wants you to have something far better than gold, namely, a helpless dependence on Him, that He may have the privilege of supplying your needs day by day out of an unseen treasury.

The Lord may let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hidden in obscurity because He wants you to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade. He may let others be great, but keep you small. He may let others do a work for Him and get the credit for it, but He will make you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He may let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and thus make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.

The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over you, with a jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feelings, or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over. So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do as He pleases with His own.

He may not explain to you a thousand things which puzzle your reason in His dealings with you. But if you absolutely sell yourself to be His...slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love, and bestow upon you many blessings which come only to those who are in the inner circle.

Settle it forever, then, that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit, and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that He does not seem to use with others. Now when you are so possessed with the living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted with this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of Heaven.

G. D. Watson (1845-1924)

His goodness continues.

For the past month or so, I have been communicating back and forth with a church that allowed the ministry to host our annual banquet at their facilities. I was under the impression that because the church supports the ministry, they were going to waive the rental fee and allow us to only pay the custodial fees. Because it is a large church and has beautiful facilities, it was such a blessing for us.

Unfortunately, because we went through several different church contacts, the paperwork didn't exactly go down the right path. After the event, I contacted the facilities supervisor, asking if we should expect an invoice or if we should just send a check. He looked into it and came back with this answer: "Usually it rents for $425.00 plus a custodial fee of $150.00. I talked with Pastor, and he said the amount due $425.00 needs to be paid. It is possible that I quoted you less and I will honor that. I have no record of giving you a price."

Wow, I was floored. Finances are so tight within the ministry that it was going to be hard to pay the $150, let alone $425. I then went through all of my previous e-mail communication with both the Pastor and the facilities supervisor (good thing I still had all those e-mails!) and found an e-mail where the custodial fees were mentioned but never was the room rental fee discussed. I forwarded the e-mails to him, apologized for any assumption on our part, but explained that if it was more than the custodial fees, we probably wouldn't have chosen that particular venue because our budget is always so tight. I then just asked him to let me know how to proceed.

His answer? "Now that you reminded me of this, you are correct. We talked of the custodial fees only. I do apologize for not writing this down. We could have spared this whole conversation. As a gesture of apology, I say the business is done and there are no fees whatsoever due. Please forgive me on all of this. I have since created a log book with these types of events. So, Merry Christmas Abby and I pray that you will consider us for further events. Only custodial fees will be charged, depending on the size of the project."

I'd say it's been a pretty great week.

For those who have ever doubted God's goodness.

Do you ever find yourself sometimes needing a reminder that He is good, all the time? I know I hear it often. I read Scripture on a regular basis that tells me this very thing. But sometimes, at least for me, I love to see God show up in a big way in my own life. Little things happen on a daily basis, and for those I am grateful, but I love moments when the only explanation is His goodness. I know this is my story. I know you might not be able to relate, but I cannot not tell of His goodness to me today. If I don't give Him the glory, I'm pretty sure this computer desk will cry out.

A few weeks ago I approached Pastor Thomas about a conference I was hoping to attend in Atlanta next April. We talked about it for a while- the purpose/benefit of it, the expenses, and if it was feasible. Unfortunately, the budget for next year was almost complete, and it didn't seem like there would be any room in it for the conference. He had an elder meeting the next week and told me he would bring it up and see what happened.

He didn't mention it after the meeting so I figured the answer was a no. Today was the last day to get in purchases for this year's budget, so I had it on my to do list to go into his office and ask but was kind of dreading the answer. I had even suggested paying for my lodging and travel expenses on my own- to which he said no way.

Yesterday as I was attempting to place my new curriculum order, I was having trouble. I e-mailed my consultant, and she called me this morning- trying to figure out the problem. I ended up having to pay for an extra month's curriculum, but not really because they had already given me that month free. It really wasn't a big deal.

About fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with her, she sent me an e-mail saying I had an option of two gifts to make up for the issue we were having this morning. The first option was a gift pack, worth about $200, that included all sorts of books, DVDs, and training materials. The second option? A complimentary ticket to the conference. No joke. I sat at my desk just staring at the e-mail thinking to myself, you have GOT to be kidding me.

I walked down to Pastor Thomas' office to tell him the good news. He couldn't believe it either. We booked my hotel today so that the only expenses going on next year's budget is travel expenses.

Is He good? Yes, yes He is.

"For the LORD is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations." Ps. 100:5

Aw crap, why didn't anyone tell me?

In reviewing my blog posts from the past 8 months, I realized something today. My blog sucks. Why didn't anyone tell me? Seriously. I went from writing mini novels to writing tweets. That is not okay.

Jon Acuff is offering blog reviews for everyone who pre-orders his book until Wednesday. I thought, 'that might be cool'. Then I went back and read my blog for the past year and man was it laaaame. (Not to mention, it might be kind of embarrassing for him to read the blog post about us being soulmates. I was kidding, really. That's weird.)

So, back to the basics. I've stripped the blog down. I'm going back to writing well.

But one last tweet: I forgot how much I love tanning. This S.A.D. stuff is no joke.

Funny part 2.

The bathroom near my office is way warmer than my office is on a regular basis. I just might consider moving my office there for the winter months. Is that weird? Probably. Would I be warm? Yes!

Funny.

I am easily entertained. It's true. Sometimes when I'm driving down the road in my car and I'm all by myself, I will think of something funny and laugh out loud. I laugh out loud a lot- I think more often than most people, but I don't know that for a fact.

Por ejemplo:
A friend of mine has a picture of his two dogs as his profile picture. Every time he comments on something of mine, I look at the picture of the dogs and imagine them making the comment. And then I laugh. And of course I would never tell him this because he would think it was dumb, but I just think it's funny. In fact, I'm laughing even as I write this. Dogs having facebook...get outta town.

Also, this video makes me laugh. I'm surprised she made it before I did.

Secrets.

Today I took a 76 year-old sister home from church.

I was the person she chose to call and ask.

I have only known her for a year.

Some of her family goes to my church.

She chose me.

Another 75 year-old sister told me today that she has to have surgery in January or February.

She has to put her 85 year-old husband in an assisted living facility while she recovers because she takes care of him and has no family around to help.

::I'm scared of getting old and having those I love not there or able to take care of me.

Making Buckeyes is a two person job.

Husband Qualification #211: must be willing to assist in Buckeye making.

Why I Love Christmas Music.

When I was in college, my brother and I were forced to share a car. (I know, right?) At a certain point in time while we were sharing the car, he was dating this chick who shall remain nameless. It was between Thanksgiving and Christmas break, so naturally I had my Mariah Carey Christmas CD in the car. She asked my brother if she could borrow it, and of course he said yes. Unfortunately for me, they broke up over Christmas break and my CD was never to be seen again.

(Fortunately I whined about it enough that my dear friend Laci, who loves music probably more than I do, provided me with a new copy- and was also kind enough to include Martina McBride's Christmas CD on there as well. Thank you, Laci- I owe you one. or two.)

Music in general is a very emotional experience for me. My family is very musical, with all of us learning to play at least two instruments and growing up singing together, it has always been a part of my life. I can remember the way I felt attending my first gospel choir concert, musical, and Broadway production. I can also vividly remember times of worship in groups, camps, services, etc. that were very emotional for me. I can also remember certain songs that helped me get through tough times of loss. Put me in an emotional situation, and 90% of the time I probably won't cry. Add music to it, and it's almost guaranteed I'll be in tears.

I love Christmas music. I love music in general, but ah, Christmas music- it has a special place in my heart. Here is why:

When it comes to Christmas, the lyrics of many of the songs so powerfully speak of our God and King coming into the world as a humble baby. I can't help but be drawn to worship Him as I listen, reflect, and sing of the events of Christmas. I don't know how people do it- artists who sing of "O Holy Night" and "O Come All Ye Faithful" and yet have no clue who He is. I love Christmas music because it makes a loud declaration of who my God is and speaks such truth that it is hard to miss.

I pray that throughout this season, more people truly listen to the words that are being played over radios across America and ask the question, "Who is He? Who is this baby that demanded and still does demand such attention from the entire world?"

8-5.

Also, for once in my life, could I find a guy to date who works a normal 8-5 job? Do those even exist anymore? Seriously, I can't even handle it.

Big Week.

So far this week two things have been added to my bucket list. I'd say that's a pretty big week.

1. Be a part of a flash mob.

2. I can't remember. When I do, I'll post it. (Dang, I'm only 25 and I'm losin' it!)

Not moving anytime soon.

Top 5 reasons I could never live alone that have all occurred in the past week:

1. Bugs: Large bugs. Spiders. Bees.

2. Animals: Dead fish. Mice.

3. Weird noises.

4. Loneliness/lack of activity: Music. Conversations. TV.

5. Intruders: Toledo is creepy.

3 Ups.

So once upon a time we had these youth leaders in junior high that every time we said something negative about ourselves or someone else, we had to give "3 ups". Turns out when you do a whole string of 5 negative comments, it's really hard to think of 15 ups.

Since I always thought their rule was stupid (can you tell?), I' m not going to follow it, but I will give 1 up for each thing mentioned yesterday:

1. I like smiling. Smiling's my favorite.

2. I love new music.

3. I love Wednesdays because it means pizza and Friday Night Lights.

4. I love my family.

5. I love my job(s).

Just call me Debbie Downer.

I hate how big my eyes get in pictures taken in dark lighting. I look like a deer caught in headlights.

I hate how I tend to run when things get tough.

I hate how much of a procrastinator I can be. Even more so, I hate that I'm still successful in pulling things off because I never learn my lesson.

I hate my love for music. Seriously, buying music on itunes has just gotten way too easy. (Maybe if I delete my credit card number from my account, I won't feel like walking downstairs to get my purse to re-enter it? Nah, probably won't work.)

I hate it when things don't work out.

Kingdom Come.

But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Cor. 12:9

His grace is sufficient for me today.


Ashes, ashes we fall down
It always seems too soon
But when we walk on golden ground
All will be made new

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, all will be made new

Life is but a dream at best
Morning's coming soon
Kingdom come will bring us rest
All will be made new

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, all will be made new

All sorrows and sighs will fade away into the night
And all will be made new

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, all will be made new
-JJ Heller

Thankfully honest.

I'm exhausted, and should probably be heading to bed, but I've had the feeling all day that I need to write. I need to remember.

Things haven't been easy. I feel as if I've been "in a mood" for the past...oh, three months. Some days were worse than others. A lot was going wrong. A lot was out of my control.

I can't say my circumstances have changed much. I wouldn't even say my attitude has changed much either, but things are better. They are getting better. For that, I am thankful.

I have been wanting to create lately. I've been spending my free time using my creativity to decorate, plan, color, explore, and I love it. The fact that I even have a desire to do that is huge. I have been going through the process of moving to another part of my house, and while it has been a lot of work, I have found I sleep a lot better in the new space. It amazes me how much of a difference a new bed and different lighting can make, and I am thankful for it. I am sleeping better than I have in months. I also got to spend last weekend with my roommates. It is always so refreshing to be with those who know you and some of your biggest hurts, fears, failures, and joys and love you through it all. Those who you know you can trust no matter what. God has truly blessed me with the three of them, and I will forever be grateful to Taylor University for bringing four very unique personalities and gifts and talents together to share life. I get to get away this weekend to do some more "creating" if you will. I'm heading to a weekend scrapbooking event with my mom, sister, and sister's best friend, and I'm excited to try and finish my wedding albums of all my friend's weddings. Then after that comes Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and the OSU/MI game and then before you know it Christmas will be here.

Life is good. God is good. Yeah, life can really suck sometimes, but He is good and He is faithful. I'm getting stronger.

A Tutorial of sorts.

It has come to my attention, fortunately at the expense of others, that recently facebook users all over the world* are falling prey to a major typo.

If you have ever used facebook on your cellular telephone and you do not own a smart phone, you will soon realize it is much different than the facebook you see when you open your personal computer. You see, the search button is reallly tiny, and your status update is reallly big. Therefore, the mistake is easy to make- wanting to look up someone's facebook while your on the go but then, all of the sudden, oops! You've posted their name as your status! How embarrassing.

Fortunately, I have yet to make this mistake, but I've been close. I wanted to let others know (consider this a public service announcement, if you will). The temptation is there, it's easy to do...but I believe in you.

*really, it might just be a handful of my friends

New things.

I just spent a ridiculous amount of time changing the look of my blog. Am I happy with it? Eh. However, the amount of time I spent on it was unreal (partially because I am an idiot, but you all know that). So, do me a favor- if you read my blog via google reader or other such things, please, just click on it. Just today. Just go. I will feel a little less like I just wasted an hour and a half of my life.

Please and Thank You,
Abby Jane.

My life as a sad country song.

I hate going to bed with good hair. What's the point? Let's go out on the town.

Life's Questions.

1. Why can't I send a picture from my Verizon non-smart phone to any of my friends with iphones?

2. Why is it that I can stay up until 6am reading a book but can barely stay up past 2am to do anything else?

3. Why is it so hard to take the high road?

Friends.

I'm not gonna lie, I think Jon Acuff and I would be great friends. I would say we are soulmates, but that would just be weird because 1) he's married and 2) that would just be weird. But seriously, here are my reasons:

1. He references a rap song in almost every post.
We speak the same language.

2. He brings it home.
Serious Wednesdays have a way of not only encouraging me but also challenging me to step up my game.

3. He makes me laugh.
Just when I thought he couldn't get any more relevant to my sense of humor, he posts an interview with Zach Galifianakis. Genius.

4. He loves Jesus and Josh Hamilton.
I love Jesus and Josh Hamilton. Pretty simple.

5. He keeps a blog that thousands of people read.
I keep a blog that approx. 3 people read, so I'd say we're pretty similar.

So, there you have it. I also happen to think Tom Brady and I would be good friends. He needs an honest person in his life to tell him no, that does not look good, get a dang haircut.

In My Dreams...

I have an entire closet just for my handbags.



PS. Happy Post #200 to me!

Facebook Friends.

"For those of you who know me" was the beginning of a friend of mine's facebook status update a few days ago.

Just curious...why would you be facebook friends with people who don't know you?

In Honor of My One Year.

September 24th marked my one year anniversary at my new job. The job I acquired also happened to involve switching churches.

This past summer, as I was gearing up to attend one of my first all-church ladies event, the women's ministry leader and a new friend of mine said, "Are you coming? It is SO much fun. And I mean like real fun, not church fun!" I immediately told her I was. Honestly, I had already planned on going, but I wanted to make her think that it was that factor alone that made my decision. To be honest, I had no idea what she meant! Here are some of the questions that were running through my head at that moment:

1. What IS church fun?
Honestly, I grew up in the church. The only fun I think I knew how to have was church fun. What kind of event is NOT church fun but real fun? Have I even experienced real fun?

2. What does real fun entail?
read: Are we going to be sinning?

3. Are we all going to be experiencing real fun?
I knew some older ladies in the church who had already signed up. Did they know this was going to happen? Are they going to be participating? Have I completely missed something here?

4. Is the pastor's wife coming?
I immediately had to look for her name on the sign-up sheet. If she was coming, well, I just was at a complete loss of what to expect.

5. Can I still bring my fruit salsa?

As you can see, I had many questions. I was curious. When the day came, I was ready. I might have even woken up early (pry not.) I was ready to go and have myself some real fun.

Turns out, real fun wasn't too much different from all the other fun I have had in my life. We took boat rides, sat in the sun, rode the jet ski, floated out on the lake, played some fun games, had a few adventures, and ate a ton of good food. Yep, pretty much what my weekends look like every summer, but needless to say- the mystery was solved, and I was pretty glad I hadn't been missing out all these years.

I was thankful for a day in the sun, getting to know part of my church family better and on a different level than Sunday morning small talk. I am thankful to be a part of this new family and am looking forward to experiencing more "real fun" with them all :)

Phone Call with a 3 Year Old.

Tonight my nephew Regan called me to tell me his belly hurt. I asked him if he wanted me to bring him anything.

His response? "I want green ice cream."

I then heard my sister yell at him for asking me to bring him green ice cream and told me not to bring it to him. I laughed and just couldn't get over how clever, and persuasive, this little boy was being.

When I got to the house, he told me his belly was feeling better. Imagine that :)

Today is the day.

Some days I wish I was one of those people who blurted everything about my personal life out in some form on the internet- facebook, twitter (which would actually require me getting a twitter account but that's beside the point), public blog. Admittedly, for very selfish reasons- I want everyone to know how this person treated me so poorly, what this person said to me, how selfish this person is, how completely messed up this person is.

Fortunately, this is as far as I'm going to go today, but just know that if I was one of those people, today would be the day my friends. Oh today would be the day.

Thankful for friends who understand, friends who make me smile even when my day/week/month sucks, and for friends who I can vent to and know they won't say a word. Thanks for making these days bearable.

Halloween.

Mom: Is Brittany having a Halloween party again this year?
Me: Well, no not really, but Jamie and Jared are having one. Why?
Mom: Do you know what you are going as yet?
Me: Uhh...noooo, not really. Why, you have a great idea?
Mom: Here are some Lady Gaga costumes... (then procedes to show me about 10 different Lady Gaga costumes online)

I love my mom.

I think it's okay.

Anonymous: Is it bad if I'm using a guy who I think has a crush on me?
Friend: Well, what are you using him for?
Anonymous: To teach Sunday school for me.
Friend: Oh no, that's totally fine then.

Monday Morning Thoughts.

1. I really should warn my co-workers when I am about to wear less makeup than usual to work so my day doesn't begin with comments like "hey sleepyhead!" or "Abby Jane, are you feeling okay? Your allergies must really be bothering you..."

2. Direct quote from my father this weekend: "I recorded you and Herman's entrance into the reception. I recorded it on my phone so I could upload it directly to youtube, so we'll see how that turned out." Oh how far we have come...

3. I had too much fun at my best friend's wedding this weekend to be able to return to work the next day and be productive. Also, my calves are sore, which means I danced waaay too much. I also had 56 bobby pins in my hair...my head is still sore.

Love Is Not A Fight.

Last week I found myself engaged in a conversation with a local pastor and my boss, a woman in her mid 40s who runs the not for profit. Our conversation began by talking about our passions- things we fight for, things we feel deeply for. The pastor shared that one of his passions is marriages within the church. The truth of the matter is divorce is just as common among evangelicals as it is among non-believers. How can this be? It is a question that plagues many. His passion is to come alongside couples, to encourage, strengthen, and equip them to be the men and women God calls them to be in their marriages. We shared stories of women in their early 30s giving up their entire lives, often times leaving their own children, for the chance to "start over" and "have their own life". He made the comment it was a good thing I was getting this "career thing" out of my system now so when I was ready to settle down and be a wife and mom, I wouldn't feel stuck. Interesting perspective, but we won't go there today.

The day after this conversation, and as I continued this conversation with others, this song came up on my Pandora station. I believe it speaks powerfully to this idea of commitment. To the sacredness of the marriage vows. To the way things should be.

(Side note: only after I fell in love with this song and the message of it did I realize it is from the not-so-hit-but-great-message, albeit a bit cheesy, Kirk Cameron movie Fireproof. My apologies if telling you that has ruined it for you...as it kinda/sorta did for me. Just pretend I didn't tell you. What? It's from a movie? I had no idea.)

Love is not a place
to come and go as we please
It's the house we enter in
and then commit to never leave
So lock the door behind you
throw away the key
we’ll work it out together
let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is a peace in the middle of a war
and if we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for.

To some love is a word
that they can fall into
but when they’re falling out
keeping that word is hard to do

Love will come to save us
if we’ll only call
He will ask nothing from us
but demand we give our all

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is a peace in a middle of a war
and if we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for.
I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It’s worth fighting for.
-Warren Barfield

The Day of My Birth.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm getting older (I am 25, you know) or if it's just the place I am at in life right now, but I have spent a lot of time reflecting on things the past week or so.

25. It seems so rounded. It seems so much older.

It is so much different than I ever expected it to be.

Earlier this week, I came across a question while preparing for my Sunday school lesson on Sunday that I, for the life of me, could not remember the answer. It was so profound to me- a "simple" question in the eyes of most believers, I'm sure, but one I could not seem to answer on my own. Naturally, I googled it. And the answer was right there in front of me, in a verse in Matthew. October marks fifteen years that I have known Christ as my personal Savior, but I know there is so. much. more.

I look at my life right now, the things I value, how I spend my time, how I balance my priorities and place a greater importance on some things above others. And some days I have to wonder...am I doing it right? Am I living intentionally? Am I doing what I was created to do? God knows I fail miserably (and I mean, miserably) from time to time, but am I on the right track? Am I making progress?

I look back to where I was a year ago, and I am happy and sad all at the same time. In some areas, I feel as if I have grown leaps and bounds, while in others it seems as if I have lost progress.

I'm thankful for the way in which God created us with the ability to remember. (Most days.) How in Scripture we are told to remember- stones of remembrance that serve as a testimony to God's mighty power in our lives. How He acted on our behalf. To share with our families. To share with the world.

Fifteen years and He's still not finished with me yet...

Rationalization.

True story: I have been buying purses, handbags, shoes, and other accessories more freely in the past year because I'm scared that once I get married my husband will regulate how many I purchase.

Permissible vs. Beneficial.

'Everything is permissible'- but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible'- but not everything is constructive.” I Corinthians 10:23

Everyone rated video games. Imagination Movers. Cars. Disney princesses. Clifford The Big Red Dog. Is there anything inherently evil about any of these things? Probably not. Most parents would probably say, 'well, I don't let my daughter watch THAT show or play THAT video game or go see THAT movie.'

While there is nothing inherently evil about any of these things, I have to question the benefit of many of them. Before I get written off as a crazy person, I do believe there is a balance. Really, I do. I would describe my own childhood as a blend of both secular and sacred forms of learning. Yes, I watched “The Letter People” and “Lambchops Sing-A-Long”, but I also watched “The Red Nose Express” that taught me stealing is wrong and learned songs like “why do I do the things I do and who do I do them for?” I played normal games like Hi-Ho-Cherry-O and Hungry, Hungry Hippos, but I also played Bible trivia games and got cool little Bible quiz books that you colored the answer with a special marker and it would tell you if you got the answer right or wrong. (Man I MISS those!) I did watch Disney movies and had Disney princess books, but I also learned of women like Ruth, Deborah, and Rahab- women who God used to do great things for Him. Sure, I read Clifford The Big Red Dog and Ramona, Ramona, but I also read other books such as the Boxcar children that taught me strong moral lessons.

I believe part of my job, and part of what maybe God is preparing me for further down the road, is to wrestle with this question. Everything I add or don't add to a child's Sunday morning worship time is critiqued and thought of long before it actually happens. I view everything that will be showed, pray about it, and critique curriculum after curriculum. I, in a way, am my own worst critic.

A few months back, a friend of mine's daughter told me her memory verse: “Thank you for the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” She is 3. Another friend of mine's son, while I was getting him ready for bed, began doing the prayer postures he sees his Muslim mother do 5 times a day. He is 2. A little girl at VBS this summer quoted Romans 10:9 to me. Word perfect. She's 4.

Often times it is hard for me to believe- that a child who is 2 or 3 has the capacity to do any one of those things. They can learn an entire song, they can quote a scripture verse, they can do all of the prayer postures required. I have learned that a child's learning capacity starts long before many people, including parents, even realize it. My nephews often mimic me. They do what I do. They say what I say.

One thing I know and that I believe with my whole heart is it is not the job of the church to teach spiritual truths to my child. It is my God-given responsibility, and the church is there to partner with me and to offer support as I train my children in the way they should go.

If it is my responsibility, I want to be intentional about it. Sure everything is permissible- but is everything beneficial?

Interested in hearing your thoughts.


PS. I showed a Cars clip in children's church on Sunday. I have one scheduled to show for this entire video series. I wouldn't be showing it if I didn't believe the tie-in to the lesson is extremely valuable in making the connection with the kids. The kids sat there and quoted the entire clip word for word. I guess the point is, did they make the connection? Yes. At the end of the day, every single kid told me what I had said word for word after the clip. Was it beneficial? Yes.

One year.

Yesterday marked one year at my new job. Wow, it's crazy how time flies. I have a good post coming to mark this milestone, but I need a little time. And right now, I have a wedding to get to.

Four weddings in the next five weeks...are you surprised? :)

An Experiment.

Today my bestie and I will begin a little experiment. Since I'm usually the guinea pig and she tends to be more of the brains behind the operations (think Pinky and The Brain), we will see how this goes.

Hopefully it is just as exciting as pinky and the brain's adventures. And I don't get killed.

Here's to some great stories that will hopefully make us a lot of money...

Soap-Opera Drama.

One of my friends once told me she was going to write a book about my life just so she could read it over and over again. I have said it before, and I will say it again, I am pretty sure things happen to me on an almost daily basis that never happen to anyone else.

After finding my journal on Monday night from my freshman year of college, and laughing so hard I almost lost my voice, I might have to agree with her. Then a conversation tonight consisted of an acquaintance/mutual friend from college, who is now married, telling me (two years later) that before he was married he had a bit of a crush on me, which I never knew.

Oh, life. Keeps me on my toes. And definitely laughing most days.

Brokety-Broke.

Man, have I been feeling like a real loser lately.

I would like to dedicate this post to all of these items I own that have broken, blown up, died, or got meeeessed up in the past 6 months:

It all started when I hit something in the road several months back. Whatever it was cracked my fender. Eh, no worries, I thought, I won't be selling Gina any time soon. So #1. cracked fender.

Then I figured my car needed a tune-up. 90,000 miles...figured it was time. And an oil change. Hello $230.

Through the inspection, turns out I had a bad wheel bearing. Hello another $200.

Then on our way home from Nashville, a lovely rock came flying up from the road and cracked my windshield. Good news was I have a $0 deductible on glass so I didn't have to pay a dime. Bad news is the idiots at the windshield replacement place put a ginormous dent in the side of my car and "I'm not saying we didn't do it, but don't really see how we could have" rico suave manager dude didn't do a thing about it. Hello ginormous new dent next to cracked fender.

Then we had some power outages, tornadoes, some lightning storms, and what have you. Goodbye rear speaker jack on my computer. Goodbye television in my bedroom. Goodbye DVD player. Goodbye printer. I have yet to replace a single item on that list.

Then my camera decides it wants to quit working. Turns out my battery charger is broke. It came with the camera. Hello $30 replacement.

Then tonight my nephews were playing "dance music" in my car when all of the sudden my stereo started going out, lights dimmed, and my car wouldn't start. I needed a new battery. Hello $100.

Oh, and it turns out it might not be just my battery. My alternator might be going bad. I just can't wait for that to happen. Really, I can't. To quote one of my favs...just put it on my tab.

Heartache.

There are a few things that break my heart. When I am feeling dead, these are what remind me I'm alive. Working with kids, I often find myself heartbroken over children who suffer- whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, whatever it may be.

If I want to silently cry at my desk some days, these are the things I read and the children and families who I pray for:

http://www.bowensheart.com/

http://www.prayforkate.com/

www.joshuajoelhunter.blogspot.com

http://www.ninetynineballoons.com/


I know there are more stories out there. Ones I haven't heard, people I haven't met. Those who may not have the gift of storytelling but none the less have a story to tell. Praying God's mercy over them as well.

Praying also for my nephews today. Jayden gets his second cochlear implant on Thursday. Regan still has his trach.

A-P-P-R-O-X-I-M-A-T-E-L-Y.

True story: I always abbreviate the word approx. for the following reasons: 1) fear of misspelling it and 2) to save myself from having to type it 5 times before I get it right.

That English language...it's tricky.

Chiquita is not my friend this week.

I think having a sick dog is probably a lot like having a sick child.

Except with a lot less love.

And a lot less tolerance of repeatedly having to clean up vomit.

From This One Place.

There is so much going on. Learning to trust more...


From this one place I can't see very far
in this one moment I'm square in the dark
these are the things I will trust in my heart
You can see something else
something else

-Sara Groves

Hopeful.

New beginnings. New beginnings. New beginnings.

I'm choosing joy today.

Life...

1. I talked about craigslist missed connections last night with some newer friends. I told them my secret dream was to be a missed connection and one of them totally agreed!

2. With that being said, another one of them immediately pointed out that it would be okay for me to be, because I'm not married, but not for her. Seriously people? Do you need to re-iterate that on a daily basis? I know my marital status quite well thank you.

3. I have a small obsession with songs written about me. Well, more specifically, my name but even if the song talks about me speaking Japanese to them or waking up in the morning next to them, I just sort of like it. I think it might be more the thought of someone writing a song about me that makes me smile, but either way...if you find a good one, let me know. So far Ryan Adams and Trent Dabbs win.

4. The past two nights I have stayed up late just because I wanted to. Doing nothing in particular, nothing of significance, but just feeling a little rebellious about my needed early bedtimes recently. Take that, early bedtime...although I know I will regret this in the morning.

5. I don't like odd numbers, however, I happen to think 5 is a nice round number, so I will leave it at that. Goodnight friends, I'll get better at writing one of these days...

Reality TV? No thanks.

Sunday night I was asked to sub on another softball team after I had already played with my own team. I ended up playing three games that night.

Guy on other team: You know Abby, if you are willing, you are more than welcome to play with us every week.

Me: Ha, no thanks...that would make 4 teams I would be on this summer.

Guy: 4 softball teams?! Wow, you must really like softball.

Me: yep.

Guy: Have you ever heard of reality TV?

Hmm...sitting on my butt every night watching reality TV or being outside, enjoying the weather, and playing a sport I love? No question.

Perspective.

Last week I had a couple of really bad days. Nothing in particular, really just seemed like everything. I gladly continued the pity party I was having for myself.

And then I got word that one of my kids had fallen through a barn roof but was thankfully caught by his dad before falling all the way to the floor. It could have been a lot worse.

And then a friend of mine received some heartbreaking news that will affect her and her family for the next several months.

And then my nephews came back from Cincinnati with the same "come back in 3 months" for the second or third time this year.

Unfortunately, it wasn't hearing about just one of those incidents that made me snap out of it. I kept thinking to myself, "I should be thankful, I should be thankful" but really all I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself. Finally, somewhere between thinking about these incidents collectively, Sunday morning's sermon, and taking the day to stop thinking about everything- God changed my heart and my attitude.

Why is it so easy to become so selfish? Why do I sometimes feel so entitled to good things?


Psalm 23. Yes, He is a good Shepherd.

Today

I'm choosing to remember the good things.

Powerful.

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven,
but I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all, no
if You touched my face, would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You,
who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories, and I learned to talk about
how You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be,
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees


What do I know of You,
who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
So what do I know?
What do I know of Holy?


What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
and a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?


So what do I know of You,
who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?


What do I know?
What do I know of Holy?
- Addison Road

A Few Things.

1. Happy Belated Anniversary, Gina! As of last Saturday, I have officially owned my honda civic for 2 years, making it the longest relationship I've ever been in. I have more than doubled the amount of miles driven since I became the owner of little Gina. So far, no problems! What a good little car...

2. Is it okay to tell a mother that their child needs to be put back on their ADD medication? I hope so- because I did. I mean, teeeechnically, she asked me...and I was just really honest. "Yes, please, give him the drugs before sending him to my class."

3. I'm wondering at what point my story from Friday night gets to be funny. When it gets to that point, I'll share it with you all.

Ramblings.

mmm I love chips and salsa. Sometimes I forget how much I do until I am walking down the aisle at the grocery store and then get really excited all over again. It's normally the first thing I unpack from my grocery bags.

I like to listen to music at unreasonable volumes. I blame an excess amount of travel time by myself for this nasty habit. I can't help it. When I hear a jam, I just want to pump up the volume.

Target is a dangerous place for me to be. Seriously...I can't walk out of that store without spending money. (Why do I even go in???)

I haven't seen a really good movie in a really long time. Someone asked me the other day, "why are all of your favorite movies like old?" I said, "that's a good question- it's because I haven't SEEN a great movie in a long time!" One that I want to watch over and over again? Hasn't happened.

I miss college. Especially around this time of year.

I love my friends. Really, I do. Whether I think their advice sucks, I just want them to listen or I might not like what they have to say, I always love the dialogue that occurs- honest, real, and encouraging. I love my friends. And some might say I'm picky about them, and I'd say you're right. I learned a long time ago "bad company corrupts good character (I Cor. 15:33)" and I wouldn't trade my friends for anything.

Mr. Right

Wondering what number I'm on...

Abby Normal.

An encouraging conversation at the office today:

Me: What? Who is this guy asking to be my facebook friend? (...gets on facebook and looks at picture...) Ew! He's a creepy old man! Why does he want to be my friend? I'm totally saying no.

Co-worker #1: Because you are beautiful! You are a beautiful, attractive young woman and that's why he wants to be friends with you!

Co-worker #2: Does he have the year he was born on there?

Me: No but he is aaaancient!

Co-worker #2: Is that a Civil War re-enactment picture he has on there?

Me: Yup. And his looking for? Friendship, a RELATIONSHIP, and networking...

Co-worker #1: See, I told you...you're attractive and you WILL attract creepy old men!


In other news...
I reached into my glovebox today to update my insurance card. I smiled as I pulled out the map you drew for me a few months back. Do you know how cute you were that day? I'm not really sure where this is going, and I'm not sure I really care- just know that you bring a smile to my face on a fairly regular basis. The end.

I'm a Big Baby.

I can be a pretty big baby sometimes. I whine and complain about things I have no right to whine and complain about. I let bitterness change my attitude towards my acts of service and my view of others.

Last weekend, there was a mother/daughter banquet at my church that the women's ministries team put together. A few months ago, they asked me to put together some activities for the girls under 12 to do with the mothers. I didn't think it would be a big deal- spouted off several ideas off the top of my head in the meeting and that was that.

Well, things didn't go exactly like I thought they were going to. I thought I was just going to be in charge of preparing and organizing ahead of time for the event. However, it kind of went like this: I didn't have a single team member helping me, I planned all of it myself, did all the shopping for supplies myself, and spent several of my work hours (that I should have used working on other things) doing said things the couple of weeks leading up to last weekend. Then I spent time on Friday and Saturday setting everything up by myself and when it came time for the event, instead of enjoying the evening with my own mother, I put her to work for half of it and left her to sit by herself for the other half...and then had her help me clean up afterwards.

Needless to say, by the end of the evening I wasn't quite a happy camper and was already adding this to my list of "things I will never say yes to again" in my head. Did it matter that I was technically getting paid to do all of this? No. Did it matter that I had actually said yes in the first place? No. Did it matter that I'm probably not going to be getting any crowns or jewels in heaven for it because of my awful attitude at this point? Nope.

So I sat there while they were handing out door prizes, and they got to the last 3 prizes which were pretty big- gift certificates to a salon. And instead of being happy for the women who won, I was sitting there thinking, "gee, it would have been nice if they gave the people who did a ton of work for this one of those...". To make matters worse (in my mind, at this point), after the evening was over one of the committee members brought me a vase filled with a pretty bouquet of flowers, saying that was my thank you for all the work I put into the evening. Oh, but I would have to give the vase back- they borrowed it from someone.


Yesterday was my "last day" working on site at the school during school days. It was kind of a sad day. Janelle made my favorite chocolate cake and the students all said their goodbyes to me. Then I got a present from a couple of my co-workers who are just too sweet. Wanna know what it was? A gift certificate to a salon.

I'm so thankful that God loves me and so graciously continues to bless me with good gifts even when I am so undeserving. And that he gives me second chances- to change my attitudes and my heart to be more like His and a whole lot less like mine.

Life...

1. Today I finally scheduled an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. Does this mean I may finally be admitting that something is seriously wrong with my knee? We'll see.

2. I may or may not like Ke$ha's CD. Don't judge me- blame my best friend for giving it to me.

3. Is it really already going to be Wednesday? I hope so- I'm losing my mind.

4. I talked to two out of three of my TU roommates today...that, my friends, is a good day.



5. Is it Saturday yet?

Mighty Is.

Dear Friend,
I wanted to thank you for being so open and honest in sharing your testimony with me this past weekend. Although I haven't known you for that long, Christ shines through you in ways that are so evident. You truly walk with Him daily, His love shines through you, and you have a genuine desire to serve Him wholeheartedly. As you shared with me some of your deepest hurts and struggles and how God brought you to the place you are now, I was once again amazed at the power of my God. Thank you for being so vulnerable in sharing your past with me, to allow me to marvel at His great mercy and goodness once again. We are not worthy of such a calling, but I am thankful that He has called both of us on this journey.

Thank you for encouraging me to stand amazed...



What can take a dying man and raise him up to life again?
What can heal a wounded soul?
What can make us white as snow?
What can fill the emptiness?
What can mend our brokenness?
Brokenness

Mighty, awesome, wonderful
Is the holy cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is the power of the cross

What restores our faith in God?
What reveals the Father's love?
What can lead the wayward home?
What can melt a heart of stone?
What can free the guilty ones
What can save and overcome?
Overcome


It's a miracle to me
And It's still a mystery
It's a miracle to me
The power of God
For those who believe

Dates with Daddy.

I can't remember many times that it was just my dad and I hanging out when I was little. Growing up in a family with five kids, being alone by yourself was rare and getting a parent all to yourself? Even more rare. However, I remember one night specifically. I was probably around 7 or 8, and I had this hot (and I mean hot) pink winter coat. I don't remember why, but it was decided that my dad and I were going on a date- just the two of us. I can't remember where we went to dinner (I'm thinking Bob Evans for some reason), but the part I remember most is going shopping after dinner at the Woodville Mall. (For those of you who live anywhere near Toledo, it is a known fact that the only thing left in Woodville Mall these days is a Sears and an Andersons.) Anyways, we went shopping, and he bought me purple gloves and purple earmuffs that matched my coat. I don't know why this memory is so vivid in my head, but I will never forget my date with my daddy.

Within the past week, the weather has taken a turn for the better and I have been going for a walk almost every day after work. I like to call them my walks with God. I spend my time walking just talking to Him, sharing what has been on my heart and mind recently, praying for my friends, my family, students, co-workers, even people I barely know. I haven't been keeping up with my Beth Moore study as much as I should. I haven't been spending that much time in the Word. I've just been talking with Him. I've been honest, brutally honest. I talk with Him freely about what I'm struggling with- needing to trust Him more, not making my own plans and asking Him to bless them, being a woman after His own heart, wanting to love Him more and asking Him to help me do just that.

Pastor Thomas spoke on Sunday about God wanting our hearts- our whole hearts. He talked about David and how much of a mess he made of his life, but he got one thing right- He was a man after God's own heart, and God honored that more than any religious traditions he kept or didn't keep.

I want to walk in His truth, and I want to be a woman after His own heart.

"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

A Love Like That.

Note: I feel like I need to acknowledge my long intermission before I write again, so- sorry it's been so long. Life has me going crazy.

A few weeks ago a co-worker of mine was telling me about a marriage conference she went to the weekend before with her husband. She said the conference was excellent, and even though they've been married for 35 years, they really enjoyed it. At the end of the conference, each couple had the chance to renew their vows in a smaller chapel at the church if they wanted. Her and her husband decided to do it.

With tears in her eyes she said to me, "You know, 35 years ago I was looking into his eyes and we were excited about life and our future together and all that was to come and had such anticipation on that day. When I looked at him on Saturday, all I could do was cry...because we won't have another 35 years together. And I know I'll see him in heaven, but I won't be married to him there. I mean, who knows how many more years we have together."

She was crying in my office at 8:30am on a Tuesday morning because 35 years wasn't long enough...

Yeah, I want a love like that.

"I don't know."

I remember the first time a teacher told me she didn't know the answer. I was a senior in high school and asked my English teacher how to spell "continuing". I couldn't remember if it was "continueing" or "continuing". She couldn't remember either, so she told me to look it up. We both learned something that day.

It has been 8 days since an earthquake of a 7.1 magnitude hit Haiti and another one hit yesterday. Aftershocks continue to rock the poverty stricken country.

And it seems as if anyone and everyone wants to do something. Almost every website I've gone to in the last week has a link to a way you can help- google, C&MA, even craigslist. George Clooney is hosting a "Hope for Haiti" event on Friday. Americans especially want to do something. They feel greater personal gratification when they go shopping for poor people in Haiti. They don't want to just give money- they want to do something. They want to send blankets, they want to buy bottles of water, they want to send paper products.

Yes, we want to do something. But what is our motivation? Do our hearts truly break for those in Haiti? for those who have experienced so much lose and devastation in the past week than we can ever imagine? Do we pray without ceasing for them? for those who have lost loved ones? for those still hoping, still looking?

Maybe this is one of those times when we have to just throw our hands up and say we don't know the answers. But we do know this: we have to do something. They need our money. Money, they know what to do with. Blankets that might not get there for 3 weeks, maybe, but they need our money. Are we listening? Are we listening to their needs and willing to help even if it means less personal gratification for us?

We may not know the answers, but we do know the One who does- and there is great comfort in that. May the God of all comfort be with those in Haiti tonight.

"I didn't pray BIG enough."

The truth is, I have had this blog entry in my head for a couple days now, but I've been afraid to write it down. I want to do it justice, and I doubt I will, but here is my attempt anyway:

"Intercessors have an essential role to play in creating a better future for our world, because intercession is spiritual defiance of what is in the name of what God has promised. The shape of the future will be determined by those who can survey all its various possibilities and who, by faith, latch on to one as inevitable. History belongs to the intercessors who thus believe the future into being." -Walter Wink, Sojourners Magazine

Sunder Krishnan, a speaker at Urbana 09, used this quote to preface his talk on praying big and praying bold. I didn't go to Urbana, but my boss brought home the DVD saying, "you have to watch this." If you have 25 minutes, watch. I promise you will not be disappointed.

After watching the video, my friend Kelly shared this story with me. For the past 9 months, Kelly and her family have opened their home to one of our Chinese students. A few weeks ago, she was preparing to return to China for 3 months for a visit. In her culture, money is very important, so instead of following the advice of a well-traveled church member and taking the most direct flight option, she chose to take the cheapest route which included about 6 transfers. When they got to the airport, she began to realize how difficult it was going to be with her broken English and began to panic. As they were walking down the corridor, Kelly just kept assuring her, "God is big, God is big, it's going to be okay", all the while wishing she would have listened to the advice of others. When they got to the gate, Kelly was hoping that she could find a flight attendant who might be able to help her at least through her first connection in Chicago. While she was looking, she saw an Asian-looking family, took a chance, walked over to them and asked, "excuse me, do you happen to be going to China?"

Their answer was big. HIS answer was big. The man looked at her itinerary. They had the exact same itinerary up until her destination. Not only did they have the exact same itinerary, they spoke the same language- the same dialect. Kelly was overwhelmed. "I didn't pray BIG enough."

This week my uncle, who has been hospitalized for over a month with no clear diagnosis, was transferred to the Cleveland Clinic in hopes of answers and a clear treatment plan. My cousin Tara is a few years older than me, lives in Vegas, and has been home since Christmas taking care of her dad as best she can. For her that means paying his bills and sitting by his hospital bed all day. She left for Cleveland the morning after he was transferred with no place to stay, no connections, and nothing to do but sit in her dad's room, watching him get weaker. I have been praying for his healing, for comfort for her, and for both of them- and the rest of their family- to find Christ in all of this. One night at dinner this week, my friend Katrina came to mind. I went to Taylor with her, and I know she lives in Cleveland and works at a hospital there. I hadn't talked to her in probably two years, wasn't even able to find her phone number, but sent her a message on facebook (which she is rarely on), telling her about the situation and just asking if maybe she could stop by and check on them if they happen to be in her hospital.

Her answer was big. HIS answer was big. Katrina doesn't work at the same hospital, but she stopped by on her way to work Friday morning anyway. She offered for my cousin to stay at her place, which is less than ten minutes from the hospital. She gave my cousin her number and promised to call her every day to check on her and see if she needs anything. On the same day, they finally gave my uncle a diagnosis. They will start treatment on Monday.

I sent an e-mail to the parents yesterday with the first part of that quote from Walter Wink, asking them to share their prayer needs with me so I can pray what God has promised for them in their current life situations or circumstances. I have already received responses from three parents and have began searching Scripture to see what it is God has for me to pray for them in those circumstances.

In 2010, I want to pray BIG, and my prayer is that you will do the same. He has shown me that He is more than able to answer my prayers. What if I start praying BIGGER? What more will He show me? What more will He do?

I can't wait to find out.

Precious in His Sight.

This past Sunday I was teaching the 2s and 3s class. I have a lot of fun in that class because the kids are just so darn cute and hilarious.

One of the kids in my class has some special needs. I've always been told with kids, and especially special needs kids, to be very positive and affirming in their actions. As he was putting away the blocks I asked him to, I kept saying, "Good job, Sam!" each time he took a new load over to the crate. At one point I picked up a handful of blocks and as I put them in the crate, in his stuttering little voice I heard him say, "Good job, Miss Abby!" I laughed, hard, and said, "well thank you, Sam!"

Later on, he was playing with a toy cellphone, answering it by saying hello. I said, "Sam, who is it? Who called you?" He got a huge smile on his face and exclaimed, "SANTA!!"

He is too precious.