I'm a Big Baby.

I can be a pretty big baby sometimes. I whine and complain about things I have no right to whine and complain about. I let bitterness change my attitude towards my acts of service and my view of others.

Last weekend, there was a mother/daughter banquet at my church that the women's ministries team put together. A few months ago, they asked me to put together some activities for the girls under 12 to do with the mothers. I didn't think it would be a big deal- spouted off several ideas off the top of my head in the meeting and that was that.

Well, things didn't go exactly like I thought they were going to. I thought I was just going to be in charge of preparing and organizing ahead of time for the event. However, it kind of went like this: I didn't have a single team member helping me, I planned all of it myself, did all the shopping for supplies myself, and spent several of my work hours (that I should have used working on other things) doing said things the couple of weeks leading up to last weekend. Then I spent time on Friday and Saturday setting everything up by myself and when it came time for the event, instead of enjoying the evening with my own mother, I put her to work for half of it and left her to sit by herself for the other half...and then had her help me clean up afterwards.

Needless to say, by the end of the evening I wasn't quite a happy camper and was already adding this to my list of "things I will never say yes to again" in my head. Did it matter that I was technically getting paid to do all of this? No. Did it matter that I had actually said yes in the first place? No. Did it matter that I'm probably not going to be getting any crowns or jewels in heaven for it because of my awful attitude at this point? Nope.

So I sat there while they were handing out door prizes, and they got to the last 3 prizes which were pretty big- gift certificates to a salon. And instead of being happy for the women who won, I was sitting there thinking, "gee, it would have been nice if they gave the people who did a ton of work for this one of those...". To make matters worse (in my mind, at this point), after the evening was over one of the committee members brought me a vase filled with a pretty bouquet of flowers, saying that was my thank you for all the work I put into the evening. Oh, but I would have to give the vase back- they borrowed it from someone.


Yesterday was my "last day" working on site at the school during school days. It was kind of a sad day. Janelle made my favorite chocolate cake and the students all said their goodbyes to me. Then I got a present from a couple of my co-workers who are just too sweet. Wanna know what it was? A gift certificate to a salon.

I'm so thankful that God loves me and so graciously continues to bless me with good gifts even when I am so undeserving. And that he gives me second chances- to change my attitudes and my heart to be more like His and a whole lot less like mine.